daernae's Friends

Brasil, 6 years. England, 6 years. America, 8 years. Now what?
So I think my mom and I are being booted out of the country.

As some of you know, Pfizer took over Wyeth at the start of the year. I just got a text from my mom (that's how we roll, apparently,) saying they offered her one position, and that's in Mexico. When Pfizer took over they made a deal not to just fire everyone from wyeth, but instead it looks like they're simply relocating everyone either a VP or Executive Director to either China or Mexico. I'm not even kidding. China or Mexico. As many of you know, Pfizer is one of the most unethical and downright bond villain esque companies out there, and this is just. Wow. China or Mexico, really? It sounds like somekind of criminal exile. Anyway.

Despite us both having green cards, that only makes us residents, not citizens. So if the company moves my mom, I have to go with since we're both attached to the company somehow. Ofcourse, I have thought about the alternatives. I could get a student visa with SVA or SCAD, and if I got desperate enough my ballet studio offers a student visa if students enroll full time (lawl new york.) However, while those are possibilities, I can't just abandon my mom like that. Her being booted out of the country for me to stay is simply too cruel. I know it's a stupid decision on my part but I can't just do that to family. And yes, my mother is enough of a child that were I to stay she'd hold it over me for the rest of my waking life.

So yeah. That's my past fifteen minutes right there. I'm a little numb, really. Like. I know this means I can't go to college anymore either way. If we move, we move, and if she quits, we can't afford it.

So apparently my own home exile has been lifted as my mother is freaking out. She's talking about moving to Austria since we have citizenship there since she refuses to live in Brasil again and she refuses to live in Mexico and yeah, meltdown mode. Yeah, because she forgets she hasn't spoken german since she was fifteen and me since I was five. Austria isn't Germany where everyone and their dog speaks better english than us. Well maybe it is, but still, ludicrous idea. Not like Austria is a big conglomerate of Pharmaceutical Companies.

This is the first time, the very first time, in my life I've cried over leaving a country. I'll never forget the day my mom told us we were moving to Miami from London. I shouted with joy and ran down the living room and jumped on the couch and then ran back and jumped some more and screamed and shrieked and jumped I was so happy. The day my mom told us we were moving to London from Rio, it was all so new and exciting and awesome and I had no idea what it all really meant. Every time we've moved for keeps I was always so happy and excited. But this time, I don't know. This inner child part of me wants to be excited but I just feel this gaping emptiness. I'm not American, I've had some bad crap happen to me here, yet the thought of leaving is breaking my heart. I keep thinking about the first time we landed in Miami, about going to middle school, and softball and cheerleading and figure skating and summers in the pool and then the summer where I started writing for the first time and the first time I saw fall and the first time I saw snow and halloweens and elections and my friends and cons and I can't stop crying. It's been eight years and I can't believe it's all over. Like. I know it is. It's over like Brasil was over and like England was over but it's just not really sinking in.

And I finally learned to make Mac and Cheese, too.

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